What Advice Would You Give To Someone Who Has Suffered A Loss?

gray ceramic mug near black and silver camera and open book

I met with a small publisher today. I’ve been wanting to compile my blogs into a book. I definitely have enough material. I just need to decide if I want to spend the time and money to get it done.

Actually, it just occurred to me that if I was led to this publisher. I first met Everett O’Keefe when he sent me a friend request after Patrick died. He went to high school with Pat and has fond memories of him. I’ve never met him in person and I hadn’t spoken to him before today.

A few months after Patrick died I joined a group for widows and I met Leicia Riding. Later I would find out that her husband, John, was also a friend of Everett’s and they wrote their first book together. They were in business together up until the time of John’s death in 2014.

And finally, in 2020 my mom remarried. My new stepfather is Donald Tacchino and he was an English teacher. While visiting him recently, he showed me a book he had received from a former student. The book was The Power of the Published and it was written by, you guessed it, Everett O’Keefe! He let me borrow the book and I scheduled a book consultation as soon as I finished it.

My inspiration

Before Patrick died I read a book called Radical Survivor by Nancy Saltzman. Nancy tragically lost her husband and two sons in a plane crash. I can’t say I enjoyed her story, how can you enjoy someone experiencing that kind of loss? But, it happened. She woke up one morning with a husband and two sons and by the end of the day it was just her. And the next morning? She woke up and moved forward. And she has kept going each day since then. I’m incredibly sad that she had to experience that. At the same time I’m grateful that she found a way to share her story because it gave me a lot of hope. I read several different books by widows but Nancy’s will always be special. She’s my hero.

I eventually reached out to Nancy and she told me about Soaring Spirits International, a great resource and source of support for widows and widowers.

There are many other people who helped me along the way, including friends, family, and strangers whose words I found in books and blogs. I would really like to pay it forward. And, as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, I can now provide additional insight on grief and recovery.

While I am working to organize my story, I thought I would reach out and see if any of you would be willing to share any tips on things that have helped you through your own grief? I would love to include real-life examples of ways that people have handled grief. And if you have any other tips I would also appreciate those! You can either comment on WordPress, Facebook, or Medium. You can also email me directly at danell.tenyenhuis@danellt9.com.

Thanks everyone and stay tuned for more!

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