My Life After Patrick

Silence is not always Golden

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I’ve recently decided to use my voice to raise awareness about systemic racism and white privilege. I’ve posted some of it here but I was worried that many of you come here to hear stories about Patrick or stories about grieving and I didn’t want to offend you. So I started posting on a site called Medium. This is a user friendly site that makes it easy for anyone to publish their writing and have a voice. I’ve read stories occasionally on this site in the past. I like it because it tells you how many minutes on average the stories take to read so I can decide if I have time to commit to a reading a story. I didn’t realize that you can only read five stories per month before you are required to join. More on that later…

I’ve written that my opinions did not change overnight but instead have been a slow process that began when Patrick died. I’ve been criticized for implying that my college degree is the only reason that I understand this. And, I do think that education encourages the type of critical thinking that helps you look at things differently, but I don’t think a college degree is required. Knowledge is the key and there are many ways to increase your knowledge.

I have found that Medium is a great site to get a variety of different perspectives. Any writer can publish there, not just the highly successful ones. You can pay around $5 per month for a subscription. The stories are not long either so you can read much more quickly than a book.

I find myself getting upset and angry at the many posts I see that are making excuses for poor treatment of black people. I know that my changed feelings may result in irreparable damage to relationships and this makes me sad. I’ve always tried to keep peace. However, I feel a strong calling to speak out and I’m going to continue to do that in multiple ways. My opinion mattered when it was about grief so I am hoping you will keep that in mind and take a few minutes to hear what I have to say. This is not about Patrick and I honestly don’t know how he would feel but he was a good person and I would like to think that he would have opened his heart to try and understand the struggles that black people have faced since before this country was founded. So I am going to use this platform to speak out.

Below are links to the stories I have posted on Medium. These are “friend links” so you can read without joining. I would love for you to read them but I would love it even more if you would listen to some of the black voices that are speaking out, and I mention some in my writing.

Painful Self-Reflection

My Family Disagrees About Facebook Posts

One Hometown – Alternate Realities

If You Think You Are Unbiased, You’re Fooling Yourself

Does It Have To Be Either/Or?

Although I am very tempted to apologize for disagreeing with some of the people I love (since that is my nature), I’m not going to do that. I am stepping out of my comfort zone because I think it is important for all of us to remove our blinders and try to understand what is going on. It’s not going away folks, no matter how sad or angry it makes you. I’m going to end with a quote from my friend, Paul Moore. Full disclaimer, I didn’t ask his permission but I feel he would be ok with it.

I feel like we are living out Malcolm’s post-JFK-assassination “chickens come home to roost” quote. Suddenly we’re back to 1968…because we never really got past 1968 in the first place. We are stuck and we need to change as much as ever before, because we can’t and shouldn’t go back to our head-in-the-sand recent existence. One day after another, we prove ourselves to not be nearly as good a country as we claim to be. The first step to recovery is admitting we have a problem, and it should be obvious by now we do have a problem.

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