His Boots
His bags and tactical/riot gear still packed from his long week away from his family; gun belt, radio and vest thrown over the chair.. but his boots, his dirty boots were placed perfectly next to the dresser. They caught my attention last night. They were so dirty and worn. When I looked at them I couldn’t help but think of all the things he’s gone through while in those boots; all the lives he’s saved, the criminals he’s chased and scuffled with, the countless hours he’s stood, stoically, while being spit and cursed at during protests and rallies. My heart fell heavy thinking about it all. As I crawled into bed, trying not to wake him, I glanced back over at his boots and I thanked God he was home safe after such a volatile week of yet more hatred and divide. I was exhausted, yet couldn’t sleep. I listened intently to every breath he breathed, thinking, “What if tonight is the last night I hear him breathe?”… I’d be lying if I said that was the first time I had wondered that. It wasn’t. I’ve actually wondered that a lot in recent weeks. But my mind really kept circling back to his boots. Obviously, I see his boots every night, but last night they posed a very unfamiliar feeling. It had become apparent to me that those boots carry a man who so many despise; not because he’s a bad man, but because of what he represents when he’s in those boots and because of the badge he so proudly wears over his heart. For the very first time, I had started to feel almost small about his profession in law enforcement; not ashamed or embarrassed, just more reserved about who we were as a police family. All the hatred and negativity of the ongoing controversy had really started eating at me. Ironically, today was the 4th annual Blue Mass honoring law enforcement and first responders. Of course, we went. It was such a beautiful and humbling service. I heard so much of what I needed to hear to renew my spirit and my faith. Although, he hasn’t uttered a word about the hatred against him as a LEO, I knew Tony had been longing for some inner peace as well. We both sat very still and focused on every word that was said. Words like Integrity, Honor and Courage were prefaced a lot. The most moving part of the service was the blessing the officers’ badges. As I looked over at Tony, I saw he had his badge so proudly clenched in his hand and over his heart, and he had tears in his eyes. I didn’t ask, but I knew they were tears of pride and humility, because you see, the man who wears those boots, does so with reverent pride and honor. He is a man of God. It was in that very moment I realized, those boots.. those dirty, worn out boots, the ones that represent him to be the man so many despise, carry him to do God’s work. Those boots have a large job to do. They are meant to Protect and Serve. It’s not an easy job, but he does it anyways. He proudly puts on his uniform and badge, straps on his gun belt and vest, laces up those boots.. and puts his life on the line every single day, even for those who don’t appreciate him. “Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” ~John 15:13